What impact does Emotional Intelligence have on your daily life?
“Shaping a statue and bringing it to life
It’s beautiful
Shaping an intelligence and giving it freedom
It’s sublime.”
Victor Hugo
Emotional Intelligence and the emotional brain
Shape and develop your Emotional Intelligence through self-awareness, motivation, optimism and self-control. In the film “Dangerous Liaisons”, the protagonist, Glenn Close in the role of the Marquise de Merteuil, challenges her friend, the Viscount de Valmont, played by John Malkovich, to start a dangerous game of seduction with a view to taking revenge on a former lover. She demonstrates a self-control that helps her to skilfully conceal her feelings. She reveals at one point that her self-control is the result of a strict upbringing that includes demanding practices that curb her impulses and delay gratification. Daniel Siegel, founder of interpersonal neurobiology, reveals the existence of a social brain. This structure is an intricate set of neuronal circuits that act in the tuning and relationship with the other, and which has special influence, both in the identification of one’s own emotional states, and in the understanding and experience of what the other feels and thinks. Mirror neurons – cells in the nervous system – are involved in this process of feeling and perceiving the emotions of others. They were discovered by chance in the late 1990s by Giacomo Rizzolatti’s team, and are attributed a crucial role in the development of social skills (a reduction in mirror neurons is observed in people with autism). Personal competencies (self-awareness, self-control and motivation) constitute three pillars of Emotional Intelligence and are subject to continuous development throughout life. They influence relationships with others, in particular empathy and other social skills, and constitute what some call Social Intelligence or social competencies.The social qualities of Emotional Intelligence
“Ultimately, we need to love in order not to get sick.”
Sigmund Freud
It has a human nature that is social and drives it towards connection and relationship with other people. It is in the ability to look at the other that he learns to love; it is in his relationship with people that he learns throughout his life: to communicate, to give and receive, to deal with situations, to relate, to become aware of himself and to increase the happiness of every moment of his life (a shared joy is a redoubled happiness). You need to love in order not to fall ill. It is no longer a moral imperative, but a biological one: it has a nature, and in particular a social brain.
The brain and neuroplasticity.
Your brain is modified through a mechanism which is neuroplasticity. This concept emerged around the 1980s to explain the ability to adapt to change. Your brain is modified in the size and number of its constituent units – the neurons – and new pathways are established between these units as a result of repeated experiences. However, according to specialists, these internal circuits can be altered by the repetition of positive experiences. These experiences translate into your social mastery, which can change not only the quality of your relationships but also the internal neuronal circuits in your brain. What are the most important aspects of this social competence? Firstly your ability to show empathy and secondly to reveal yourself as a socially competent person.How to take advantage of emotions and develop Emotional Intelligence?
Developing emotional intelligence should be a concern and priority. Already we talked about personal competences as self-control, motivation e more self-knowledge. Today we will talk about the other qualities of Emotional Intelligence, such as empathy and social skills. In 2006, Daniel Goleman differentiated Emotional Intelligence from Social Intelligence, including social skills and empathy.. Empathy
Understands human nature, easily understands what another person usually thinks and feels, and conveys a genuine interest in other people’s concerns. If so, you are an empathic person. In this way you can connect emotionally with the other person easily, which helps you to relate better. However, if you are in a leadership role, in a family or in an organisation, your empathy has wider effects. As a team member, team leader or family leader, you need to cultivate empathy to deal with different types of people, generations, cultures or different skills. But empathy is not enough, you need to have political awareness: to be able to detect the relationships of power and influence between different people, in other words, to understand who is in charge or influencing whom. However, one of the great qualities of empathy, a differentiating aspect of any leader, according to Danah Zohar – author of the book “Spiritual Intelligence” – is the spirit of service: being able to anticipate, identify and meet the needs of others. An extreme example of empathy can be represented by the secretary general of the United Nations Organisation (UNO), currently led by António Guterres. This former Portuguese prime minister, who in this role lost his influence and effectiveness perhaps due to an excess of empathy, has applied his empathic capacities very well in this new context, making him a leader of excellence at world level.. Social Skills
Think of someone you consider socially competent. You will identify a person who is easy to communicate with, who knows how to listen, who is convincing, so that you can say that “he is someone who always makes things happen”. You will find that he/she easily influences others in a certain direction that creates links with an interest or purpose while maintaining integrity as he/she does not use or manipulate others. A leader without social skills may be a researcher who transforms a certain area of knowledge – such as Louis Pasteur, for example, a researcher who pioneered work in disease prevention – but he or she will find it very difficult to transform the vision of others and establish links that mobilise the energy and will of others. To inspire and guide a group of people, to resolve disagreements, to initiate change, to cooperate and to create synergies in a team, several social qualities are necessary. Daniel Goleman considers that they are quite interrelated, although each one contributes to a specific outcome. He identifies the following components of a social competence: communication, influence, conflict management, leadership, catalysing change, bonding, cooperating and team building.What impact does Emotional Intelligence have on your daily life?
Your Emotional Intelligence and that of those with whom you relate influences several areas of your life. Your optimism, relative of hope and successor of motivation, tremendously influences your degree of emotional satisfaction in life and at work. In your intimate relationships, Emotional Intelligence can prevent many separations and also your satisfaction in relationships. The satisfaction, commitment, motivation and performance of those you lead or those you influence increase the higher your Emotional Intelligence.