What does it take to be brave?
What can there be in common between a social activist like Malala, a young girl who when defending the right of girls to go to school was shot by the Taliban and became at the age of 17 the youngest Nobel Peace Prize laureate; Martin Luther King, a political activist; an entrepreneur like Walt Disney, who was fired from a job for lacking creativity; a fireman who risks his life; someone who perseveres with spirit, daily, in the face of the incapacitating difficulty of illness, or those who venture into the unknown in search of other horizons or better living conditions?
What do these people have in common? They can persevere in the face of adversity, stand up for what they think and have the courage to be who they really are. These are the 3 main attributes of courage:
1. Persevere in the face of adversity
“Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.”
Churchill
Courage is easy to identify when, when faced with something out of the ordinary, spectacular or high impact, you discover abilities you did not know, whether it is coping with a life setback, unforeseen danger or dealing with the consequences of your actions.
For example, you are able to start again after a financial fiasco, or rescue someone from the sea who was in danger of drowning or, less eloquently, you confront someone to right an ethical or legal wrong, and that person by their status or power can bring you various misfortunes.
All those who have a profession where they put their life at risk, such as journalists or doctors working in war scenarios, or those who act to defend social, civic or religious beliefs in less tolerant environments, are undeniably courageous.
But it is not so obvious to associate courage with people who can maintain optimism, smile and find happiness, in the face of persistent and disabling difficulties, such as health problems, serious financial issues, family problems, situations that often recur insistently and seem to have no end.
For American President Emerson,
“a hero is no braver than anyone else, he can only be so for 5 minutes longer.”
2. Stand up for what they think
“Being loved by someone gives strength.
To love someone deeply gives courage.”
Lao-Tsé
If you convey and defend your ideas and they are in line with what others think, you are not at risk, nor do you need to be especially brave. But to be able to think differently and point to other perspectives requires courage and confidence to face criticism, rejection or marginalisation.
All those who dare to dream, innovate or undertake may experience many difficulties, but if they are able to stand up for what they think, other than to exalt themselves, are brave.
When is that courage at the level of an admirable quality or virtue and not at the service of free speech, ignorance, or anything else? Whenever it does not renounce standing up for what it thinks on issues impacting on life, human rights or the like, and in doing so it is taking risks that may compromise its own popularity, reputation or life.
Two examples come from two ministers from England: Margaret Thatcher and Thomas More. Margaret Thatcher in the 1970s, in a difficult economic and political environment, took a series of unpopular measures to get her country back on its feet; Thomas More, Lord Chancellor to King Henry VIII of England in the 16th century, dared to defend his ideas, highlighting the error of the king’s divorce, exchanged a comfortable and influential life for prison and death.
In these two cases, I dare think it may have been, two forms of love that gave courage: the sense of mission to the British citizens in the case of Margaret Thatcher and; the love of God and his family, in the case of Thomas More, who left an admirable example of integrity, faith and an unwavering sense of humour.
3. Courage to Be
“It’s never too late to be
who might have been.”
George Elliot
In Greek theatre, persona was the designation for a mask used to play a certain role. This idea draws attention to the fact that each person can play several roles, various characters: the zealous professional, the thoughtful and sensible social worker, the caring son or daughter, the creative entrepreneur, the successful businesswoman, the devoted mother, etc.
Sometimes these roles do not translate your true self and their manifestation brings out thoughts, emotions and even behaviours that are not always congruent with your true nature or essence (self) and are in conflict with each other.
It is at these times that he says he cannot understand the discrepant behaviours or can describe a person as “liar, hypocrite, fake”, or who is simply acting in a false self or according to a false self.
Edward Schwartz is a psychotherapist who recognises in the self a capacity for self-regeneration and healing which are qualities innate to any person but which life history may have wounded, numbed or replaced by other characteristics which come to dominate and do not allow space for “who could have been” to manifest.
Courage to face and deal with fears and dangers, real or imagined is a quality of the self that enables self-development and self-leadership.
Courage, this quality of Being, as well as confidence, calm and non-judgmental acceptance (compassion) are attributes that enable true personal leadership.
Many of my clients, whether in coaching or therapy, have shown a courage that never ceases to amaze me, to dare to go beyond, to surpass themselves and sometimes to overcome or learn to deal with levels of suffering or various difficulties in relating to themselves and others.
In this journey they often have to face various fears and their persistence and boldness until they achieve the desired balance are a huge inspiration and example to me.
Who dares to persist in the face of adversity, is able to stand up for what he thinks and acts to undertake “being who he really is”, has the courage that the Russian writer Leon Tolstoy describes in these terms:
“He is brave who fears what he must fear,
and does not fear what it should not fear.”